Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Separation of Church and State

Hello, everyone! It has certainly been a while. For what it's worth, I am just getting back into managing my time properly so there is time for knitting. Having a ridiculously happy and energetic nine-month-old with a longer-than-normal attention span has caused me to evaluate when the best times to do "me" things are, and the answer is "at three in the morning when I awake and he is still asleep," and "on break at Starbucks," and "while waiting for contractors to arrive at my properties."

Right now, my goal is to finish the many projects I have on my needles, and I am KILLING it (albeit about three rows a day...ha ha). Currently, Sandra's socks are getting the "finished project" treatment.

That said...recently, the Archdiocese of Joliet required parishes to play a recorded message to every congregation, from Bishop Conlon (sort of the president of Catholics in the area surrounding Joliet all the way up to the Cook County border), urging the constituents to call their lawmakers and tell them to vote "no" on an abortion bill which would kill tons of babies every year. We were asked to think of the innocent lives which have no voice.

The bill in question, in case you want to read all hundred pages of it, is SB 1942 and HB 2495. It would grant minors the allowance to obtain a pregnancy termination without their parents' consent, expand insurance companies' obligation regarding coverage, and repeal the ban on second- and third- trimester termination procedure that politicians call "partial-birth abortion," but medical professionals do not. Big deal, right? We are Catholic and therefore should oppose abortion at all costs. I don't have a problem with the Catholic view; I have a problem with my priest telling me how to vote. So I sent the following message to Father Norbert at St. Scholastica:


Father...I wanted to share my feelings on the message from Bishop at the 10:00am service this weekend. Please understand I do not see this as a reflection of you personally; I understand all parishes shared the same message. That said, I was grossly offended by the message, and I want to share why.

First, as a catholic, I pray for an end to abortion. I also, however, acknowledge that not everybody is catholic. Abortion is a religious belief, and while I don’t agree with it, I don’t feel it is my place to judge others who have or need one in the same vein I don’t think it is my place to judge others who have a need for an alcoholic drink to get through the day.

Secondly, we can’t pray for our leaders to legislate peace and make the right decisions for their constituents while simultaneously condemning these decisions. Religion is not legislated in this country, or at least shouldn’t be. An example:  if I were Jewish, and I found out I was pregnant, and I started to have suicidal thoughts over it, my religious leader would remind me that taking care of me is of the utmost responsibility. If terminating pregnancy LEGALLY were to save my life, then my ideological doctrine would forgive me.

I come to church to get away from politics, because there are too many lies in politics, and I need an hour where I can feel the truth. Bishop is lying about that law; the general assembly is attempting to pass legislation that would actually LOWER abortion rates. Take the Netherlands. While half their citizens are not religious, Christians make up 39% of their population, and they have zero restrictions on abortions while also having one of the lowest abortion rates in the entire world. The reason for this, as is well-studied by medical professionals, is that they have access to free healthcare through every step of family planning. This proposed law will not cause people to walk into an abortion clinic at 32 weeks and say, “Oops! I need to get rid of this baby!” The intention of it is to allow access to procedures for people who otherwise have nowhere to turn, like their religion, so they have a safe option for a medical procedure.

Lastly, what would you say to a pregnant woman who came to you for counseling because her 26-week-old fetus had a fatal birth defect? Because these laws protect women whose babies are born to die, where no medical miracle can save them. Imagine that woman being forced to carry that fetus until it dies, and then has to wait for her body to rid of it naturally because she has no access to pregnancy termination. What would you say to her?

I am not trying to put you or the church on the defensive. I was just so frustrated hearing that message this morning because all it did is rile people up with gross misinformation and political propaganda. Our job as Catholics, so I thought, was not to convert people to our line of thinking. Rather, it is to go in peace, live our lives in God’s image, and pray our example is an inspiration for others to find God. I find it hard to believe that an organization of priesthood, made up of 100% celibate men, think they have the right to take a stand on something which has to do with their faith but not themselves personally, and expect everyone to rally in agreement.

I am a woman. I had a baby at 43 years old. I gained 38 pounds, agonized every day if I was good enough to be a mother, questioned if I was making the right decision for six straight months, and cried uncontrollably on more than one occasion because my hormones would not allow me to rationally process my emotions. I would never have an abortion in a million years, but I fully appreciate the sentiments which lead to that decision, and it would be absolutely gut-wrenching. I would hate to think that my church would abandon me on a decision I might have to make, simply because the stand on the topic is based on horribly skewed opinions instead of facts, and not a single person involved in those opinions would have an idea of just how daunting having a baby actually is.

I know this is long, but thank you for listening.
amy kaspar 

Well, I did not hear back from my church (understandably). However, Father was just doing what he was told, so I forwarded the message to Bishop Conlon's office, and I received a response from the Assistant Director from the Office of Human Dignity - Respect Life Ministry. This is the ministry which counsels women who are unsure what to do when they have an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, or who had an abortion and feel the need for counseling from their church. The representative said she would be happy to talk about my concerns, so I spoke with her for over an hour over the phone.

In this conversation, I kept reiterating to her that this was not offense because of my stand on abortion, but because of my stand on politics. It was a very respectful and refreshing conversation, and there was no name-calling or trying to convince anyone that they were wrong or right. I did, on one or two occasions, point out that the Catholic belief on abortion is based on lies, but there was no blame. For instance, saying that life begins at conception is flat-out not true. The potential for it does, but there needs to be nurturing and care for that potential to turn into life on its own. Also, I mentioned the Holocaust and the Khmer Rouge genocides, and said that if people were mass-murdering their babies, especially with the help of doctors, it would be constantly all over the news.

The representative said that if I could not see it from a Catholic standpoint (meaning the importance of calling my lawmakers), then maybe I could look at it from a human rights or a biological standpoint. She sent me a link to a doctor named Anthony Levatino, who was once an OB/GYN who performed abortions, but had a calling after his adopted daughter was killed. I agreed to look into it.

And I did. I do not fight for the sake of fighting. I fight for what I believe in, but also feel it necessary to be fully informed so my beliefs are rooted in truth. I looked at the link. Looked up the doctor. Looked up statistics on various human rights issues related to abortion and childcare. The representative said she would be happy to continue the conversation another time over the phone, or via email, so I sent her the following message just about two weeks later:

Miss Alexandra...Stanley is doing better, thanks for asking!

So, I watched a couple of those videos you sent, and I also did some research on this topic regarding politics, because again, this was not about my stand on abortion. It is about my offense that the Catholic church was urging me to call my lawmakers in the middle of Sunday Service.

We prioritize human life above all other life. If that were not true, everyone would be a vegetarian. That said, Live birth and subsequent murder do not happen, ever. The partial-birth abortion procedure mentioned is ONLY done when either the mother is about to die, or the baby is about to die, and there is no other way. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, which is the professional membership for OB/GYNs, the term "partial birth abortion" is not a medical term...it was made up by politicians.

Interestingly, Dr Anthony Levatino is not a member of the ACOG, and there are over 56,000 OB/GYNs in this country. He was, however, a medical board director for Priests for Life, meaning he was letting his religion dictate his medical practice. His adopted daughter died, and he had a calling; this furthers my argument that pro-life is a religious belief and should not be legislated based on a church view.

There are over 15,000 children in Illinois living as wards of the state, or in foster care. That is 15,000 babies who are either not wanted, or they were brought into this world by the wrong parent. The fact is, though, they don't have a permanent home because there are not 15,000 adoptive families ready to take them in. As a Christian, I want to help all children whose lives are less fortunate than mine. However, you mentioned to me that I should look at this issue from a human rights standpoint. In this particular case of life before versus after birth, I have to actually choose, and I choose the lives of those who are here. Why would anyone lobby to pass a law making someone give birth to a child they do not want (for whatever their reasons are, as I am running under the assumption that they are not Christians reasons but it is not my concern), just so it can be born to a state which doesn't have enough people who want it either? 

Dr. Levatino is presenting these procedures as barbaric; when I had thyroid cancer surgery, I had a hole cut into my neck, my thyroid yanked out, cut at the edges, sewn off, and stitched back up. When I had jaw surgery, I had a wedge of my jaw sawed off, my bottom jaw unhinged, repositioned, and reattached. When you put a medical procedure in plain terms, of course it sounds like a horror movie. But the truth is that biology says life begins at conception, but not sustainable life. If true, sustainable life began at conception, then these liberal laws would not be needed to protect mothers whose babies developed a fetal anomaly while in utero, and was going to be born dead, or would die very shortly after birth guaranteed. If sustainable life began at conception, there would be no neonatal intensive care unit. These barbaric D&E procedures are very, very few and far between, and they are to save one of two lives. Bishop Conlon is not a doctor, or a woman. My priest is not a doctor, or a woman. You are a woman, but I did not get the impression you were a doctor. So a leader of my faith should not be telling me to call a Politian about legislating a medical procedure; those fetuses already have a voice. It is their mothers' voice. And we are well within our Catholic right to pray for these women, but lobbied legislation in this case is judgment, and judgment is not a Catholic thing to do.

Have any of the women you have counseled come face-to-face with an abortion protestor? We have people in our parishes who stand outside abortion clinics, and while their intent may be to shame the clinic, they are actually shaming the patients. Do you think you could just wantonly get rid of a child? Me neither, and neither can these women seeking these services. It is a DIFFICULT decision, and there is no reason that as Catholics we should be making it more difficult by making the procedure more difficult to get.

Thank you for reading...this is what I have surmised after several more days of research and praying. You can tell Bishop Conlon that if he wants to sit in judgment of others like that, then he is not as Catholic as his constituents need him to be.
amy e kaspar

Nobody ever has to agree with me on this. Have your values. Embrace them. Identify with your church. Don't identify with your church. None of it matters.

But please, please do not tell me how I should vote based on my religion. If the government can't force me to be Catholic, then Catholics can't force me to sway government.